Ask Bleach!
by soulful100
Summary: Always had a question you wanted to ask the bleach characters! Now you can! You can also make them do whatever you want XD
1. Chapter 1

Gkanda: HI all! I've been reading around fan fiction and realized that the are no Q and A for Bleach! So send in your questions and they will answer them! Dare are accepted! Don't worry… I'll make sure they'll do them! *mUhhahahahahahahaha*


	2. Ichigo's worst day

**I do not own bleach!**

Soulful100: Hellllllllllllllloooooooooooo people! If you noticed I changed my pen name XD! Welcome to the very first chapter of Ask Bleach! Now Heres my Co- host. Ichigo!

Ichigo: Huh? What? What am I doing here?

Soulful100: You're here to read out questions directed at you! Do it… or be taken away by your rabid fangirls!

Ichigo: NO! Anything but the fangirls!!!!

Soulful100: Alright then. First question. **Ichigo, what's your opinion on IchiHime and IchiRuki? Do you think that you and Rukia might get together sometime? If you really aren't in love with anyone, you're dense. ----- **It'sNotOver9000

Ichigo: I feel that both of them are ridiculous. I'm way too busy trying to live to fall in love. Especially that midget Rukia! I don't care if I'm dense.

Byakuya: Kurosaki Ichigo….. are you saying that my sister is ugly? *play ominous music*

Ichigo: Byakuya? When did you get here? Um. I'm not saying that she's ugly or anything… and I dint mean to say that she's short . Please don't kill me…

Byakuya: Senbonsakura.

Ichigo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

*One painful Senbonsakura-ing later*

Ichigo in a full body cast: Pain…….

Gkanda: LOL. Anyway moving on. ***evil grin* This is going to be fun! I love making people do stuff they hate... ----- **l1nk1n-p4rk-4-3v3r

Everyone: 0.o

**Ulquiorra: Are you goth, emo, neither, or both? --- **l1nk1n-p4rk-4-3v3r

Uliquirra: Neither.

Ichigo: Like real Emocar!

Uliquirra: Shut up trash. Cero.

Ichigo: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Ichigo: Is it true that you like Rukia?(I'm not an IchiRuki fangirl, don't worry) ----**l1nk1n-p4rk-4-3v3r

Ichigo: I just answered that.

**Ryuken: Do you actually care about your son? ---- **l1nk1n-p4rk-4-3v3r

Ryuken: No. He is a failure of a quincy.

**If the answer is no, I dare you to jump off a cliff. --- **l1nk1n-p4rk-4-3v3r

Ryuken: I'm not jumping off a cliff.

Soulful100: DO IT! OR FACE THE FANGIRLS!! * points outside *

Fangirls: WE LOVE YOU Ryuken!!!!!

Ryuken: …. Fine. *Jumps off cliff*

*One trip to the hospital later*

Soulful100: So how was the jump?

Ryuken: *Joining Ichigo with a full body cast* Painful. There were pointy rocks at the bottom.

Everyone: LOL!

Soulful100: Next person. **I dare Ichigo to kiss either Byakuya or Aizen, his pick. Oh, and make it a French kiss ^^ ****-----** Akai Mu Tsuki

Ichigo, Byakuya and Aizen: WTF!!!!!

Soulful100: Do it or be tor- taken away by your fangirls.

Ichigo: Fine…. I choose Byakuya. But I can't do it because I'm in a cast XD.

Soulful100: That's a problem. *Cast a full body cure* There all better!

Ryuken: Hey can't I get healed too?

Soulful100: Meh… You can stay broken.

Ryuken: HEY!

Soulful100: Moving on… KISS!!

Byakuya: I hate you Akai…….

Soulful100: I am so going to put this on youtube!

*One freach kiss later XD *

Everyone: 0.o

**Well that's it for this chapter! Send in your most personal questions and the most embarrassing dares!!!!!!!!!!**


	3. Byakuya gets owned

Soulful100: HELLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOOOO PEOPLE!!!! WELCOME TO A BRAND NEW CHAPTER OF **ASK BLEACH** WHERE YOU CAN ASK AND MAKE YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTORS ANYTHING!!!!!

Byakuya: Why are you shouting?

Soulful100: I'M HIGH ON SUGAR!

Ichigo: Well since he'll probably be too high to do anything. I'll be reading the questions.

Byakuya: Don't you mean question?

Ichigo: Yeah….. Come on people review more! That's the only thing that keeps this thing going!

Byakuya: Just read the question.

Ichigo: Fine. ***evil grin* Hey, Byakuya!**---**Sakura Onna**

Byakuya: I do not like that smile.

**What's your position on OC Bleach characters?** --- **Sakura Onna**

Byakuya: They are poor deluded people who are just trying to steal some pathetic attention from us true bleach characters.

**If you hate them I dare you to 10 second french my OC Hideyori Sakura or get torn to pieces by her Bankai **--- **Sakura Onna**

Byakuya: What can one pathetic OC Bankai do?

**ice tiger that acts very independently and her choice of any weapon she can think of formed of ice. Oh and fyi her ice causes instant frostbite! **--- **Sakura Onna**

Byakuya: Crap…..

Sakura: BAN! KAI! * zanpaktuo (sp?) turns into a billion tiny cell piecing needles and a gigantic claw*

Byakuya: Double crap….

*ten seconds of painful piecing later XD*

Soulful100: Wow! Who knew that Byakuya had a heart!

*looks at Byakuya's remainding body parts*

Soulful100: Anyway… **Ichimaru Gin! Is it true you think Kira Izuru is hot and you wnat to ahm  
*cough* do certain things to him? **--- ** Sakura Onna**

Ichimaru: NO! Just because I don't open my eyes, smile all the time, and that he is my vice-captain does not mean I'm a bloody paedophile.

Ichigo: *cough* yes it does*cough*

Soulful100: Well that's it! Please send in more review if you want more questions! Remember the more embarrassing the better!


	4. Zaraki gets bashed

Soulful100: HELLO BLEACH CHARACTERS!! ! YOU READY TO BE ASKED TORTUROUS QUESTIONS ?!!!!

Ichigo: Umm…. Soul…. Why are you shouting and an intense aura around you?

Soul: *Pins Ichigo against wall with keyblade(yes I'm writing a KH fic)* BECAUSE I CAN! GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT?

Ichigo: Of-Of Course not!

Soul: GOOD! NOW WAIT HERE WHILE I GET THE QUESTIONS! *runs off*

Ichigo: That was… scary. Anybody know why he's so angry?

Riku: That's cuz' his friend finished so fast during his oral exam today that he didn't have enough time to even look through the whole passage and prepare.

Renji: WTF? Aren't you from Kingdom Hearts? What the heck are you doing here!?

Riku: Soul hasn't written a new chapter for his other fiction in a while and I was bored so I came here through the corridors of darkness.

Ichigo: Anyway that explains a lot.

Soul: RIKU! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE?

Riku: Oh shit! See yea! *conjours portal and jumps through*

SOUL: DAMMIT GET BACK HERE! *Opens another portal and runs through*

Ikkaku: Did he just blow us off?

Ichigo: Well at least there won't be excessive sadism today… Hopefully…

Renji: First review! **Oh, this is all so funny! Please torture them again. As for my torture methods, I mean, questions, here they are. Q's for Kenpachi Zaraki:  
1. First of all, did you know that even you have crazy fangirls, including me?**

Zaraki: I do?

**If not, you are completely clueless, you big lug! **

Zaraki: Okay?

**2. If you are completely clueless about your fan lead, may Ulqui-chan and Bya-kun smite you down with their coolness! But don't worry; I still think you're cooler. :P**

Byakuya: I've looking forward to this for a long time Kenpachi.

Ulquiorra: Prepare to die trash.

Zaraki: You think you punks can take me on? BRING IT!

Byakuya: Senbonzakura Kageyoshi.

Ulquiorra: Gran Rey Cero

*Respective attacks change up and start to merge*

Zaraki: ... Crap

Byakuya + Ulquiorra: Gran Rey Kageyoshi

*A gigantic mass of petal-like blades disperse throughout the gran rey cero*

Zaraki: AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*Zaraki gets blasted out the wall*

Ichigo: Woah I think you guys blasted him to China!

**Q's for Byakuya **

**1. Did you know most people think you are the hottest captain in the Gotei 13 and would like to marry you?**

**2. If the answer to the previous question is no, you are both emotionless and stupid, and may Yoruichi totally pwn you with her flash-step mojo!**

Byakuya: Yes I do. I ignore them most of the time.

**Question for Yachiru, Ikkaku, and Yumichika: Yo Pinky(and Syazel, I do not mean you), Baldy, and Feathers! How is my favorite smokin' division? Yes, you are my favorite division.**

Yachiru, Ikkaku, and Yumichika: Thanks!

**Ikkaku, is that a hair on your head? **

Ikkaku: WHERE?

**HAHAHA! Made you look! ****----- **_**Beastly Rose**_

Yachiru: Hahaha! Baldy-chan got owned!

Ikkaku: You will pay……

*A portal pops up and Soul steps through detrenced in blood*

Soul: Hey guys! What did I miss?

Ichigo: Just and awesome new attack by Byakuya and Ulquirra! Here's a video of it, you can watch it after we're done. And why are you drenched in blood?

Soul: Well let's just say Riku got what was coming to him 

*Riku in the intensive Care unit in Destiny Islands Hospital with his body multilated.*

Ichigo: Okay….

Soul: Anyway next question! **Ha Ha Byakuya! Sakura pwned your behind and she actually liked you! Now apologize for making her mad by refusing to kiss her and make sure you learned your lesson! She may forgive you if you make it convincing enough.*wink, wink* If not...well remember I'm sure.**

Byakuya: Fine…. I'm sorry Sakura. *gives her a quick kiss on the lips*

Everyone: 0.o

Soul: *holding video camera* Thank God for technology.

**Hey Rangiku, Izuru, Shuhei! I've heard you guys like throwing wild parties when you think you can get away with it, and Izuru tends to "lose his clothes" when he has a bit too much sake. Are you preposefully getting Izuru drunk so you can have a peep show going on? Rangiku, you could easily get Kyoraku to do that for you, you know.**

Rangiku: Well no we just like to drink to oblivion. What Izuru does once he's there has nothing to do with me. But Shuhui however….

Shunhui: Hey! Look! How many times do I have to tell you! The 69 on my face does not mean THAT!

Rangiku: Sure it doesn't

Soul: Moving on!

**Oi, Kyoraku! Since that's a woman's kimono you have on over your captain's uniform this dare is perfect for you (and Byakuya if Soulful 100 feels sadistic enough): wear a pink frilly fairy dress (with the sparklely wings) and sing as loud as you can "I'm a little tea pot" 5 times. No putting the dress over what you're already wearing; You must change your chothes completely!**

Kyoraku: Do I have to?

Soul: Do it unless you want to know what happened to Riku! You too Byakuya!

Byakuya: Fine…..

*they change and Kyoraku goes first*

Kyoraku: I'm a little ~ tea pot ~

*One dare later!*

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Soul: your turn now Byakuya

Byakuya: Ugh… Do I have to?

Soul: Hmm…. Nope! Not in front of us!

Byakuya: Really?

Soul: Yup! Instead you'll be performing in front of the whole Serieti!

Byakuya: WTF! There is no way I will do that!

Soul: You're right… The audience ain't big enough.. So instead you'll be performing for the whole of Soul Society! * snaps fingers and monitors appear around Rukongai and Serieti*

Byakuya: I hate you…..

Soul: Do it or I'll extend it to Hueco Mundo.

Byakuya: Fine…. *starts performing*

*after the performance*

Everyone: HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHA

Byakuya: You have caused me to soil the name of my ancesters!

Soul: Good! Maybe you can stop being so stuck up now.

**Szayel, you pink-haired freak arrancar! I dare you to dye that hair of yours neon puke green. **

Szayel: No

**If you refuse to do so it's getting shaved off completely so you look like Ikkaku aka the Cueball of squad 11! Btw is that even your natural hair color?**

Szayel: Dammit… And yes it is my natural hair colour…. Somehow. *Shaves off hair and regrows it with a chemical*

Soul: Hey you can't do that!

Szayel: She didn't say that I couldn't.

Soul: Fine you win this round Szayel.

Ichigo: So that's the end of this four page long chapter.

Soul: FOUR PAGES!!! WOOHOOOO!

Ichigo: Well remember to ask more questions and that this fic only lives as long as you review!


	5. Wild Party of Chaos

Soulful100: Hello people!!!! Welcome to the fifth chapter of Ask Bleach!!! Woohooooooo!

Renji: Umm technically its only the fourth chapter as the first chapter was just to ask people to ask questions.

Soul: Shut up Renji! We'll be have a party later to celebrate after we answer all the reviews! Unless, you don't want to come?

Renji: Uhhh…. Never mind! Wohoooo!

Ichigo: Anyway… First review! **I have a question for both Byakuya and Shinji. Byakuya, why is your Bankai a multiplication of your shikai and Shinji, why do you respect Ichigo? ****--- ****Goku76**

Byakuya: I don't know.

Shinji: Because he's the only one besides Aizan who has probably scared the stuffing of the little midget called Hiyori.

Hiyori: *gives Shinji a face full of foot* WHO ARE YOU CALLING MIDGIT BALDY?

Shinji: Who you calling baldy MIDGIT?

Hiyori + Shinji: Grrrr…..

Ichigo: Can you stop flirting so we can get back to reading the reviews already.

Hiyori + Shinji: SHUT UP YOU STUPID STRAWBERRY!

Ichigo: I TOLD YOU IT STANDS FOR GUARDIAN NOT STRAWBERRY YOU BA-

Soul: Moving On! **Nice story. :D (This isn't aa question, lol.) You have many creative ideas. ****--- ****It'sNotOver9000**

Soul: Thanks! Now that's done… I would like you to meet the party organizer, ** Beastly Rose (**I hope you don't mind. Please don't kill me)

Renji: Didn't she torture us last time.

Rose: **Thank you so much for interviewing everybody! **Don't worry! I'm just here to party!

Soul: Great! Now lets get this party started!

Everybody: WOOHOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Masumoto: Where's the sake?

Hinamori: Let's dance Little Shiro!

Hitsugaya: It's Hisugaya –taichou to you! And no way will I dance with you!

Hinamori: Aww come on…. *drags hitsugaya*

Hitsugaya: What the? LET GO OF ME!!! BED WETTER MOMO!!!!

Beastly Rose: Aww how cute. **Now for more torture methods-yes, that is what they are.**

Soul: Finally.

Beastly Rose: **Yo Yachi-chan!**

Yachiru: Hmm?

Beastly Rose: **Baldy and Feathers burned all of you candy and are dancing on the ashes on the training grounds. Just thought I would run it by you.**

Yachiru: WHAT THE HECK!!! *massive aura flash* They will be dropped in the lava of a thousand volcanoes, their remains will be given to the dogs and then be blasted with a million blasts. *runs off*

Soul: Remind me to never make her angry.

Beastly Rose: Hey help me take Ichigo's zanpakto and give it to Yachiru.

Soul: K. Invisible-no-jutsu *turns invisible and steals zangetsu*

Beastly Rose: ***walks over to Ichigo* Ichi-san, Yachiru is over in eleventh division using Zangetsu to chop down a tree. By the way, that thing is going to break if she keeps it up. Kay, bye!**

Ichigo: What are you talking about? It's on my back… *tries to draw now gone zangetsu* DAMMIT! GET BACK HERE YACHIRU *Chases after yachiru* Rukia! Come and help me!

Rukia: Okay.

Beastly Rose: ***walks over to Byakuya* Captain Kuchiki. Just thought I'd tell you that Rukia and Ichigo eloped without tellin' ya. They are over in the Eleventh Division by the way. See ya later!**

Byakuya: WHAT THE $%&#? SENBONZAKURA ! Kurosaki, you will be dropped in the lava of a thousand volcanoes; your remains given to the dogs and then be decimated with senbonzakura! *flash-steps away*

Soul: Wow he's scarier than Yachiru.

Beastly Rose: ***goes and steals everyone's Zanpak-to's and puts them in eleventh division***

Everybody: Hey!

Beastly Rose: ***grins evilly and watches chaos erupt***

Yachiru: YOU BURNT ALL MY CANDY???

Beastly Rose: ***grins evilly and watches chaos erupt* **

Ikkaku: What are you talking about?

Yachiru: DON'T LIE! Ken-chan! They burnt all my candy!!!

Zaraki: YOU PUNKS DID WHAT! *Removes eye patch and massive aura of death pops up*

Ikkaku: Crap…

Yachiru: Go Ken-chan!

Ichigo: YACHIRUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! WHERE'S ZANGETSU????? *gets ready to slam Yachiru* Rukia! Blast her!

Rukia: On it! Hadoku san-ju-yi (31) Red cannon shot! Way of Binding no. Sixty-Six! Six light Rod Prison!

Yachiru: ARGHH!! *Immobile and Zaraki is too busy bashing Ikkaku and Yumichika to notice*

Ichigo: All right! NOWS WHERE's ZANGETSU!!!

Byakuya: RUKIA GET BEHIND ME?

Rukia: Nii-sama? Whats wro-

Byakuya: Way of binding no. 66! Six light Rod Prison! * Binds Ichigo*

Ichigo: What are you planning on doing Byakuya?

Byakuya: SILENCE FOOL! You think you could elope with Rukia? WELL THINK AGAIN!

Rukia: Nii-sama what are you talking about he and I are not elo-

Byakuya: Hadoku no. Sixty-Six! Twin Lotus Flame!

Ichigo: Byakuya! Rukia and I are NOT getting married! I just wanted her to come and help me take back Zangetsu from Yachiru!

Byakuya: So you could fight me off when you were going to elope? TOO BAD! BAN-KAI! SENBONZAKURA KAGEYOSHI! *engulfs Ichigo's in a dome off petals* DANCE OF A THOUSAND SWORDS! BEGON KUROSAKI!

Ichigo: Crap…. ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Soul: Overkill…

Beastly Rose: No doubt.

Soul: Well I think that's enough for today! Remember to ask questions people! Questions are the stuff that keeps this fic from dying XD! And Beastly Rose sorry about using you in here. Please forgive me. Don't kill me. Please continue reading this. *Puts up puppy eyes*


	6. The chaos continues!

Soul: Hello!!!!!!!!!!! PEOPLE!!! Welcome to the official 5th chapter of Ask Bleach!!!!!!! And as such the party of chaos is still on!!!!

_FLASHBACKFLASHBACK_

_Zaraki: YOU PUNKS DID WHAT! *Removes eye patch and massive aura of death pops up*_

_Yachiru: Go Ken-chan!_

_Ichigo: YACHIRUUUUUUUUUUUU!!!! WHERE'S ZANGETSU????? *gets ready to slam Yachiru* Rukia! Blast her!_

_Rukia: On it! Hadoku san-ju-yi (31) Red cannon shot! Way of Binding no. Sixty-Six! Six light Rod Prison!_

_Yachiru: ARGHH!! *Immobile and Zaraki is too busy bashing Ikkaku and Yumichika to notice*_

_Byakuya: Way of binding no. 66! Six light Rod Prison! * Binds Ichigo*_

_Byakuya: SILENCE FOOL! You think you could elope with Rukia? WELL THINK AGAIN!_

_Byakuya: Hadoku no. Sixty-Six! Twin Lotus Flame!_

_Ichigo: Byakuya! Rukia and I are NOT getting married! I just wanted her to come and help me take back Zangetsu from Yachiru!_

_Byakuya: So you could fight me off when you were going to elope? TOO BAD! BAN-KAI! SENBONZAKURA KAGEYOSHI! *engulfs Ichigo's in a dome off petals* DANCE OF A THOUSAND SWORDS! BEGON KUROSAKI!_

_FLASHBACKFLASHBACK_

Beastly Rose: Ya **g****otta love the chaos! I hope no one got to hurt... Aww, who am I kidding? The more pain the better!** **Honestly, I can't believe you all fell for that. But that's part of being human, or being human-like anyway.**

Soul: You got anymore ideas?

Beastly Rose: Yup! But I need everybody's zanpakto in Mayuri Kurostuchi's laboratory.

Soul: Done. *steals everybody's zanpaktou via shunpo-ing and dumps them in some dark part of laboratory*

Beastly Rose: Nice… Now on to the main plan. ***gets megaphone and yells to soul society* ANYONE WHO HAS LOST A ZANPAKTOU, GO TO MAYURI KUROSTUCHI'S PLACE! HE TOOK 'EM ALL AND DECIDED TO EXPERIMENT WITH THEM.**

Everyone: WHAT THE HECK!!!

Meanwhile…

Nemu: Shouldn't we be at the party?

Mayuri: Tch! I could care less about the party. We have to finish research on how to draw zanpakatou spirits out like that guy a few months back!

Nemu: Do you mean Muramasa

Maruyi: Yes! Imagine! Being able to draw out the true power of your zanpaktou! If only I had someone's zanpaktou to work on.

Nemu: But Tai-chou, there are a bunch of them there. *points to place where Soul hid swords*

Maruyi: *grins* Perfect.

*door flies open and breaks a random container*

Everyone: GIVE OUR ZANPAKTOU BACK!!!

Mayuri: YOU FOOLS!!! DO YOU WHAT YOU JUST DID? THE BOTTLE CONTAINED VIRAL SAMPLES FROM THE REAL WORLD!!!"

Random Soul Reaper: So?

Mayuri: IT MEANS THAT IF WE DON'T EVACUATE WE COULD ALL BE INFECTED AND CAUSE A EPIDEMIC!!!

Random Soul Reaper: WTF!!!!

*Everybody but Mayuri and Nemu runs outs*

Mayuri: *chuckles darkly* Gets them every time. Now then, NEMU, pass me one of their zanpaktou.

Nemu: Of Course.

Back to the present…

Beastly Rose: **Byakuya, will you please stop killing Ichigo? Neither me or Soul need a mess to clean up later.**

Ichigo: THANK YOU!

Soul: Actually you can continue Byakuya. I'm going to use my all mighty Author powers to clean it up later. Go crazy.

Ichigo: DAMMIT SOUL!

Byakuya: Thank you. *continues rampage on Ichigo*

Beastly Rose: ***releases binding spell on Yachiru and hands her mega-cherry-lollipops with extra sugar* Go crazy. **

Yachiru: *pops in one of the lollipops ands goes into ultimate-super-hyper mode* YAYTHANKYOUBEASTYCHANNOWI'MGOINGTOTAKEOUTMYREVENGEONBALDYANDFEATHERSFORBURNINGMYCANDYBYE!

Beastly Rose: What did she say?

Soul: I think that she meant she likes the candy and is on her way to kill Yumichika and Ikkaku.

Beastly Rose and Soul: May they rest in pieces/peace.

Beastly Rose: Anyway….**Ken-chan! Will you please stop hurting Baldy and Feathers?*gives cutsey puppy dog face***

Kenpachi: Tch. Whatever. Yachiru is already doing a pretty good job of that.

*Cuts to yachiru*

Yachiru: YOU PUNKS THOUGHT THAT YOU COULD BURN ME CANDY!!!!!

Ikkaku: we're screwed.

*Back to Beastly*

Beastly Rose: **Thank you. I have a question for you! Can I have one of your bells? **

Kenpachi: Fine. *takes a bell of head* I have tons of those in my room.

Beastly Rose: Thanks! Well I got to go. See ya! *Shunpo's off*

Soul: Now on to the reviews**!** **My fangirl mind is melting. :D Keep up the good work! LOL ~~~**It'sNotOver9000

** Gotta love choas... Byakuya, you're safe from my torture this time around since Beastly Rose did a good enough number on you last chapter. Now stop killing Ichigo and say "thank you for sparing me more humiliation at this time, Sakura Onna" or face Sakura (my Oc for those that don't remember) and her Bankai again...Or I decide to make you personally clean the bathrooms after the party and most of everyone got hammered.**

Byakuya: Fine… Thank you for sparing me more humiliation at this time Sakura Onna.

**Rukia!**

Rukia: Yes?

**a few chapters back Ichigo got asked what he thought of IchiRuki/IchiHime. Please give us your stand point on both.**

Rukia: no comment.

**Shuuhei, you claim the 69 on your face doesn't mean you know what. If that's the case why keep wearing something so easily confused and what IS it for?!**

Shuuhui: The number 69 represents a person now gone who I deeply admire.

Masumoto: OHHHHH! Is it a girl?

Shuuhui: NO

**Here's something for two cast members that haven't had to do anything yet. Orihime, try going 2 hours without saying anything, not even the smallest sound, while locked in a room that has piles of very breakable items everywhere.**

Orihime: Umm… Okay?

**If you can last 2 hours without making any sound and breaking anything I'll owe you a can of your favorite soda or something. (*evil grin*Other cast members are allowed to try to distract her in anyway they see fit.)**

Orihime: Yay thanks! *Goes into room and starts mediating*

Everything: We're not going to disturb her. She never did anything to any of us.

*2 HOURS LATER*

Ichigo: Wow I can't believe she did it.

Orihime: *can of cherry coke appears in hand* Thanks!

**Chad,(...what to dare you to do? Ah here we are!) this is a little lame, but try entering a room with a 4 foot high doorframe without ducking, crouching, creating a hole in the wall, destroying the doorframe, or anything else along those lines. If you can accomplish this I'll owe you a copy of your favorite band's latest album on cd. ~~~ Sakura onna**

Chad: Okay… *tries to walk through the door frame but it breaks*

Chad: Damm…..

**Soulful100: Well that's the end of this chapter. I'm sorry for not writing this sooner but my exams are coming and my teachers are giving me work like crazy! I will still update this if REVIEWS HAVE BEEN WRITTEN and I have the time so stay tuned! God that sounded cheesy. SOULFUL100 OUT!**


	7. A desperate Plea

Oh come on people! A few weeks and no reviews! PLEASE SEND IN QUESTIONS! THIS FIC IS DEPENDENT ON THEM, YOU STOP THEM THIS FIC DIES! YOU DON'T WANT TO BE A FIC KILLER DO YOU? SO PLEASE SEND IN SOME QUESTIONS!!!


	8. Revival!

Soul: Hellooooo and welcome to the sixth chapter of Ask Bleach! Thanks to all those who revived this fic from being taken to Soul Society.

Yamato: Dammit.

Soul: Too bad Yamato-soutaichou. ON WITH THE QUESTIONS!!

**I have a few questions. Kenpachi, if you wanted to fight Ichigo so badly then why did you help stop Rukia's execution and Shuhei, do you secretly have Bankai because if not, are you aware that Kaname does and fighting him is suicide?**** --- Goku76**

Kenpachi: Cause I already fought with him when he was trying to rescue Rukia and I knew that if Rukia died then he'll go all emo and I wouldn't be able to fight him again.

Shuhui: I can't say anything cause if I did it wouldn't be a secret anymore would it? And yes I know that he has BanKai, he was my captain after all.

**Yes!Awesome~I love this because its funny!xD**

Soul: Thanks!

**Okay Dares!**

Everyone: Dammit!

**Toushiro: I dare you to wear a silver and white kitty costume and do the 'Nyan Nyan' dance.(look it up on youtube xD) In front of the whole Soul Society and there!**

Toushiro: WHAT! NO WAY IN HELL WILL I DO THAT!

Soul: Do it or be mauled by your fangirls.

Toushiro: … Fine *puts on costume*

Momoshiro: SQUELL!! You look so cute Little Shiro

Toushiro: Shut up Bet Wetter Momo.

Soul: Stop flirting and DANCE! *pushes him on the same stage that Byakuya performed on a few chapters back*

_~~~ One performance later! ~~~_

Momoshiro: You were great Toushiro! Now was that so bad? *hugs Toushiro*

Toushiro: *blushes* Not really…

**Momo: After Toushiro's done...You kiss him on the lips,has to be a french kiss,dress in a sexy bunny suit and hug him tightly trying to make him have sex with you.**

Momoshiro: *blushes deeply* Ok-okay….

Soul: But no sex sorry… I do not want to risk the T rating!

Momoshiro: *changes and to kiss him*

Toushiro: WHAT ARE TRYING TO Do…… *stops struggling and kisses back*

Soul: Finally!

**Ichigo and Renji: Ichigo dress in a strawberry suit and Renji dress in a pineapple suit and sing and dance 'Fruit Salad'.**

Ichigo and Renji: WTF!!!!!

Soul: Do it or be smited into oblivion.

Ichigo and Renji: Fine… *changes and performs on stage*

Soul: *takes out recorder* This is going on YouTube!

**Everyone except Aizen: KILL AIZEN!I HATE THAT SON-OF-A-** ** BASTARD!**

Everyone except Aizen: Gladly

Aizen: * Backs into a corner* Now now…. No need to get violent.

_~~~ One Aizen onwing later! ~~~_

Ichigo: That was easy…

Soul: Yeah I couldn't believe that he just went down like that.

Renji: Do you think that he just used his zanpaktuo?

Soul: Meh… Either way it got out A LOT of stress off me.

**Orihime: Make the best food ever and give it to Aizen,Hin,Tousen, and the Arrnacar!**

Orihime: Okay *prepares steaks covered in strawberry, whipped cream and jelly beans* I hope you all like it!

All those forced to eat: *turns pale*

Soul: Damm… That was evil! Even for them!

**Rangiku: Do not drink sake,**

Matsumoto: Fine…

**do paperwork,**

Matsumoto: All right…

**and smother Gin with your breasts.**

Matsumoto: Never.

Ichimaru: You know you want to!

Matsumoto: Shut up Gin.

Soul: As much as I pity you you have no choice.

Matsumoto: Fine.. *smoother's Gin under breasts*

**Grimmjow: Do the same dare as Toushiro did,only in a blue kitty suit and in front of Hueco Mundo.**

Grimmjow: WHAT THE FU-

Soul: Watch the language Kitty. And if you refuse you be force to listen to 'It's a small world' All. Day. Long.

Grimmjow: NO! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

Soul: Then get started Kitty Boy.

Grimmjow: *changes and starts performing but trips and falls*

Everyone: HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHALOLOLOLOLOLOLROFLROFLLMAOLMAO!

Grimmjow: Shut up.

**Thats all!Ta ta! --- AnimeLuver4everandevr**

Renji: Good.

Soul: Thanks for letting me record all their dances!

**Who... I just found this fic so you can't yell at me for not reviewing. :D  
Anyway.  
Orihime: *Stabs with a long, rusty, dull kitchen knife* Take that you ** **! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!**

Rukia: ORIHIME!!!!

Ishida: INOUE!!!!

Kon: WHY GOD WHY!!!!

**Ishida: ... ** Hands. *stabs with the name knife that was used on Orihime* You are DEAD! And... stuff... I hate you...**

Everyone: ….

Ryūken: He was a failure of a Quincy anyway.

**Urahara: I feel that your fan base is much, much, much too small and that you need a large hug. *giant glomp***

Urahara: Why thank you!

**But, back to the point of this review~! Do you feel bad that the storyline of Bleach is all your fault? I don't. Without you there would be no Bleach, and even if Aizen somehow got the weird-** ball thingy that makes Arrancars Ichigo would be a little weakling with no real power at all. Look at it, you were behind him getting his powers back, accheiving Bankai (through that weird little stabby doll thing AND him getting his Vaizard powers (by putting him in the shattered shaft deal. I feel that you are, in essence Bleach... and I love you.** **Here ends the rant of an insane fangirl!**

Urahara: I don't! And thank you! I am quite intelligent!

**Oh, and Ichigo, I know you're gay for Renji, but too bad,**

Ichigo: WTF! I'm not gay!

**he likes Byuakuya,**

Renji: I want to defeat him, not have sex.

**who likes Yachiru,**

Byakuya: I detest that little demon to the core.

**who likes Kenpachi,**

Yachiru: I like Ken-chan! But just as a friend!

**who likes Ikkaku,**

Kenpachi: Go to hell

**who likes Yumichika,**

Ikkaku: WHAT THE HELL!!!

**who likes Il Forte,**

Yumichika: How ugly!

**who likes Szayel,**

Forte: HE"S MY BROTHER!

**who likes Orihime,**

Szayel: She is an interesting study.

**who likes Ulquiorra,**

Orihime: *blushes* N-No I Don't!

**who likes Grimmjow,**

Uliquiorra: He is trash.

**who likes you.**

Grimmjow: Burn in hell.

**So, I'm sorry Ichigo, but love is tough all around in Bleach. We know you'll never find love. Except maybe with Grimmjow... somehow...**

Ichigo: Look here people! I. AM. NOT. GAY. I AM STRAIGHT! I DO NOT LOVE ANY GUYS! UNDERSTAND?

Soul: Then what about those magazines that I found under your bed?

Ichigo: What magazines?

Soul: These *holds up YAOI WEEKLY*

Ichigo: Um... Those aren't mine...

Soul: Suuuuuuurrrrreeeeee.... Then why were they under your bed?

Ichigo: *blushes* Well.. Um... You See... OH LOOK! A DRAGON!

Everyone: Where?

Ichigo: *snatches magazines and burns them*

Soul: Hey!

Ichigo: Now you can prove nothing.

Soul: Tch. Whatever.

**HAHA! I've been reading way to many fanfictions. And I'm also home sick with the swine flu... whe... I have too much time on my hands!**

Soul: Ouch. Swine flu bites. Normal flu's already bad enough. Hope you get well soon!

**I hope that was a good enough review, oh authoress.---KaikenCollison**

Soul: Author... ress?

Ichigo: Bwahahahahahahahahah!

Soul: SHUT UP!

Renji: Kaiken haha thinks haha that haha you're haha A GIRL HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Soul: DAMMIT!! Just as a future reference I'M A GUY!

Ichigo: To Kaiken you're not!

Soul: That's it. Goodbye Ichigo *summons Keyblade*

Ichigo: Oh shit.

Soul: BREAK! *attacks with rapid jabs* MAGNAJA *ball of gravity appears and sucks Ichigo in*

Ichigo: HELP ME!

Soul: THUNDAJA! WATERAJA! FIRAJA! BLIZZARAJA! AEROJA! HOLRAJA! ELEMENTAL BARRAGE!!!!

Ichigo: Crap... *hit by massive bolts of lightning, fire, ice, air and a massive ball of light*

Soul: *dismisses Keyblade* Now then... Does anybody else wants to make a comment?

Everybody: We- We're good.

Soul: Great! Next review!

**(This is my opportunity! :D) -Evil Person**

Rukia: Why does everyone like to torture us?

Soul: You hardly get hurt!

Rukia: True.

**1. Aizen, do your fangirls visit you over in Hueco Mundo? And do your Espada cero them to death? Please explain.**

Aizen: No. They used to, but we destroyed their portal into Hueco Mundo. And if they somehow get in I do not ask my Espada to Cero them to death. I give give them to Szayel to experiment on.

Szayel: Humans are very good test subjects.

**2.I bet you Bleach people see alot of IchiRuki fanfics with lemon in them. Does this disturb you?**

Everyone: We care not.

**3. Kenpachi...if you could kill Ichigo, would you?**

Kenpachi: No. I find assassination boring. I like to fight. I would rather fight him before killing him.

**4. Rukia... what kind of shampoo do you use? Or is that your natural hairstyle?---It'sNotOver9000**

Rukia: I use Clear shampoo. And this is my natural hair.

***flinch* owie! hey i can't think of anything really but i really like this thing. (did cause byakuya to get pwned by a girl after all). hm... okay maybe these could work/help.**

Byakuya: Silence peasant!

**Ulquiarra: wear pink tutu around hueco mundo for a day and sing part of barbie girl every time stark yawns**

Uliquiorra: Never trash.

Soul: Need I remind you what happened to Ichigo?

Uliquiorra: Give me the tutu.

Starrk: Yawnn....

Uliquiorra: ... I'm a Barbie girl in a Barbie World... *twirls*

Soul: HAHAHAHAHAH

Uliquiorra: Silence trash.

Soul: Whatever. This video will be posted on YouTube!

Uliquiorra: Curse you trash. Curse you to the depths of he-

Starrk: *yawns*

Uliquiorra: ... Life in Plastic, it's fantastic! *Twirls again*

Soul: Keep dancing Uliquiorra!

**Gin: go up to aizen and give him a bearhug then try braiding his hair**

Soul: We are unable to do that as he's dead. But he'll be back in the next chapter.

**uruyu:kick your dad's butt cause he deserves it**

Soul: Once again. Can't as he's dead. Will be back in next chapter.

**grimmjow: add "meow" to the end of every sentance for two hours straight**

Grimmjow: Fine meow.

**tatsuki:dress like a guy and see how long you can go without someone figuring out you're a girl**

Tatsuki: umm... okay? *dress like a guy*

Orihime: Tatsuki! Why are you wearing boy clothes?

Tatsuki: -.- lll Epic fail.

**Chizuru(girl always hitting on orihime):hit on every guy you see for a day. no jumpimg orihime allowed.**

Chizuru: Ok. Hey there Soul... you wanna do something later?

Soul: get away from me. *uses keyblade as a baseball bat and smites her into space*

Chizuru: AHHHHHHH!! I'm blasting off again!!!!

Everyone: *sweat drop*

**some one:try messing with tosen's hair, wardrobe, etc without him killing you**

Nel: I'll do it! Hey tousen-san! Can I braid your hair? Can I can I? Plwease?*gives puppy dog eyes*

Tousen: Umm... sure.

Nel: Yay! *turns tousens hair into a beehive*

Tousen: How do I look everybody?

Renji: *Holding back laughter* Look you great....

Tousen: Thank you Neliel.

Nel: No problem Tousen! I alwso changed your clothes to something nicer *wardrobe is full of pink dresses*

Tousen: Thank you Neliel, it is hard to find such good children these days.

**Ichigo's dad:take a chill pill and take better care of your kids**

Isshin: I am a good dad!

Ichigo: Suuuurrreeee you are... You let your eldest run around killing hollows, not caring if he fails or if doesn't come home. You're a great dad.

Isshin: Thanks!

Soul: *face plam* Nevermind. Well thats the end of this chapter! I hoped you all liked it and please. REMEMBER TO REVIEW TO PREVENT FICTION DEATH!**  
**


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